Dating Tips and Guide

Friend First

Try to look at this endeavor not as a prospective husband/wife hunt but as an effort to make a lot of friends, and I mean good friends. Friends that you can laugh aloud with, friends who make you laugh. Not everyone can make us laugh, and when I say laugh, I am not referring to some comedian. We are talking about friends here.

It really does pay to have a lot of friends. It makes ones life richer. The best thing about friends is that you can be yourself with them. And they too can be themselves with you. And that means letting it all out. We must remember that apart from being the dutiful husband or wife, your spouse should be your best friend as well.

That is one mistake that most couples make. They tend to look upon their friends and their spouses as separate. While it is perfectly ok to have your own friends, your best friend should always be your husband or wife.

It should be someone you can share your dreams and fears with, someone who understands, someone who can give your hand a gentle squeeze when things go wrong and someone who can brighten up your darkest day.

All this is a very far cry from sex right? That is why we did mention earlier that looks and sex should be the last criteria in the selection of a life partner. The marriage proposal must come as a natural sequence and it should by no means be the first thing that comes out as soon as you warm up to a person. You cannot very well say something like, “hey, you know what, I think we have the same tastes so let’s get married.”

You can say that of course but it would not be in very good taste. So what do you do if you discover that one of the friends that you made and the one who you were keeping your fingers crossed about is already married?

Do you have a car? Then the answer is simple, just run over that person’s spouse and remove the unwanted element, right? Wrong! It is just not done. You can still be friends with that person and shift your attention towards another direction. Who knows, you might even find a better person. All you have to do is shuffle your cards and deal them out again.

I hope you have got the hang of what we meant by working backwards now? Good. There is another catch involved in this process. There is a chance that one of the friends that you made may have read this book too and maybe the proposal may come from the other end. If it does, then well and good; for it saves you the ritual.

Mr. Right and Ms. Wrong

But then, what if the person who proposes to you wasn’t really what you had in mind? Well, the choice is yours of course; you can take it or leave it. But there is a point worth considering over here. If we can find someone that we love that is good, but if we find some one who loves us, isn’t that better?

But I would also like to add a word over here. Suppose some one does come and propose to you but unfortunately, you are not in the least interested? You have every right to turn the proposal down but please do it gracefully. There is no need to hurt the other person’s ego. This person is obviously a friend of yours, and surely you care deeply for them.  However, if you know that you cannot marry this person, a turned-down proposal is better than a divorce.  Try to explain your feelings in the gentlest way possible

Step 2:  Making Yourself Look Like A Million Dollars

Nobody is perfect in this world but that does not mean that we cannot try to look our best. There is absolutely nothing wrong in giving nature a helping hand. Work on your image, work on your profile, and work on your appearance.

Many people go by the philosophy, “this is me, whether you like it or not it’s your problem. I am not going to change.”  Well, nobody is asking you to change, but what are you trying to do? Scare people off?

Well, the fact is, such statements are just a manifestation of your own insecurity. We all have a certain degree of insecurity, some people more than others. It is this insecurity that makes us sound gruff and uncaring when it comes to improving our appearances.

Come on, what are you afraid of? I’ll give you a tip. Whatever you are afraid of, others are afraid of the same thing.  In this world, most people are neither for us nor against us. They are thinking about themselves. 

Presenting oneself is an area that requires a lot of work, but surprisingly, this is the one area which people tend to neglect the most. Most of us have a laid back attitude when it comes to painting a picture about ourselves. When it comes to presenting yourself we really have some work to do.

If we knew you on a more personal basis we would have loved to help you to chalk out a profile of your self that would be as impressive as possible. But of course, it is impossible to know all our readers on a one to one basis.

But you do not have to worry because we have done a lot of study in this regard and once you follow our directions, you can indeed come up with that dream profile.

The Dream Profile

One cannot take too much effort in preparing a profile. It is something that should be viewed in all seriousness. Please do not treat the subject lightly. Imagine that you are preparing for a job; won’t you spend a lot of time getting your resume ready?

Well, most of us take up jobs for how long, four or five years? And how about a relationship, definitely we do not embark on a relationship with the expectation that it would last for just a couple of years.

We have to understand that a relationship is really worth much more than a job, because it is probably the most important decision in your life. So now let us discuss ways in which you can spruce up your profile. 

You can of course get a professional to do the job for you since it saves you the effort. You may have to dish out a small amount of course, but it could be worth it. There are many people who have qualms about including a picture in the profile. Well, I don’t want to press the issue. It certainly does look better to have a picture in your profile, but due to privacy issues you can refrain from including a picture.

The best thing you could do is once you are comfortable chatting with a person and are convinced that this person does not have any devious intentions, you could send your picture over as an attachment or a file. But this, too, is best done a mutual exchange basis. It would be unfair if you know what the other person looks like but the other person is kept in the dark and vice versa.

 

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